国外段友：刚说14脚凌空0中，今儿就啪来一个，疼疼疼

哈弗茨成为第一位在美国职业足球大联盟全明星技能大赛的传中凌空抽射挑战中没有得分的球员：14脚0中。

stepover7：这位可是上赛季切尔西的主力前锋。(he was striker for Chelsea last season.)

not-always-online: 这个有14天无条件包退条款没？(They have 14 day return policy?)

mourinhoo: 现在是别人闹心的时候了，感谢枪手老铁6500万英镑。(Somebody else’s problem now, thanks for the £65m.)

HSW26: 这俩传球的都比他脚头儿准。(the people passing the ball were better.)

TrailBlanket_0: 以职业队模式培训青少年球员既视感。(Me training my youth products in career mode.)

thatswavy: 维尔纳训练中表现是得多烂，才让切尔西教练组认为哈弗茨应该首发。(Says a lot about how bad Werner was in training if everyone decided Havertz was better off at striker.)

Bonemarrowchutney: 14脚，我知道他没认真踢但是14脚啊！(14 attempts. I know he wasn't trying BUT 14 ATTEMPTS.)

阿森纳 5-0 美职联全明星，哈弗茨凌空抽射破门。

somebeerinheaven: 经过昨天那档子事儿后，今儿必须进一个凌空。(Had to be a volley after yesterday.)

zrk23: 我感觉像剧本儿。(feels scripted.)

addandsubtract: 他只是需要射15脚才能进一个。(He just needs 15 attempts to score.)

Potatoguard: 哈弗茨肯定听到昨天你们搁这儿扯淡了。(Havertz heard you talking shit.)

拜仁友谊赛27-0血洗罗塔赫-埃根

Dinosalsa: 拜仁没有收手，对他们的对手显示出了极大的尊重。他们一次又一次地尊重着对手，一个尊重接着一个尊重。(Bayern showed a lot of respect by not holding back. They respected the opposition over and over. It was one respect after the other.)

006AlecTrevelyan: 他们还是有整整十五分钟毫无建树的——中场休息时。(Tbf they did go fifteen minutes without scoring at one point. Which was half time.)

NikoKoyaobr: 拜仁第50到第64分钟在干吗？太丢人了。(What was Bayern doing between 50th and 64th minute? Embarrasing.)

AnilDG@NikoKoyaobr: 所以很显然他们这个赛季需要凯恩！(Clearly the reason they need Kane!)

my-united-account: 下半场才进了9个，烂到家了。下半场出场的球员全都应该被解约！(Only 9 goals in the second half, terrible performance. The second half team should be sacked!)

Cold-Veterinarian-85: 如果图赫尔说最令他欣慰的就是没有失球的话，我就脱了裤子往自己身上滋。(If tuchel says the most pleasing aspect is the cleansheet il piss myself.)

上半场结束，拜仁官方：我们半场18-0领先。

avolcando: 最惊险的领先。(The most dangerous lead.)

duclegendary: 万幸啊，他们下半场又进了9个，这才保住了一场胜利。(Thank god they scored 9 more to secure the W. Close game.)

VincentKompany4: 特别想知道落后的这边半场训话会怎么说。(Imagine the other teams half time team talk.)

afito@VincentKompany4: “如果他们能半场进18个，我们也能！”("if they scored 18 in 45min then we can score 18 in 45min!")

neoxch@afito: 我记得我9岁的时候对我的朋友说过一样的话。当时我们在中场休息时0-7落后于附近城镇的球队。最终我们输了个1-17，我们的守门员在0-10的时候哭着跑了。(I remember saying exactly that to my friend when I was 9 and we were down 0:7 at halftime against the neighbouring town. We ended up losing 1:17 and our goalkeeper left crying at 0:10.)

DZLars: 小时候，我曾在本队0-33输球后得到了对面球队一份认真的加盟邀请。我是守门员，显然（如果没有我）我们会丢更多的球，关于那场比赛，我唯一的记忆就是在比赛中用海绵抵住我血肉模糊的脸。(As a kid I once got a serious offer to play for the opposition after losing 33-0. I was the goalkeeper but apparently it could have been more goals. The only thing I really remember about that game was holding up a sponge to my bloody face during the game.)

国际米兰球迷库瓦-诺德写道：“再也别见了，卢卡库，”“你背叛了我们所有人，我们总是在困难时刻挺你，你却背后捅刀子”“在亲吻了我们的队徽后，你却要加入出价最高的球队，”“你连个男人都算不上。”

SpudBoy9001: 我怎么念着感觉是写给前任似的。(This reads like something you'd send to an ex.)

FloppedYaYa: 这几句像极了杰雷米那首诗——《去你X的，布什》。(This is desperately close to the "fuck you Bush" Jeremy poem.)

looeeyeah:

去你X的，卢卡库。

是时候滚出国米了，卢卡库。

你来之前什么德行，卢卡库？

你当初连个下家都找不到，卢卡库。

你现在高兴了吧，卢卡库。

去你X的，卢卡库。

(Fuck you, Lukaku.

It’s time to get out of Inter, Lukaku.

What were you even doing there in the first place, Lukaku?

You didn’t even get properly purchased, Lukaku.

Are you happy now, Lukaku?

Fuck you, Lukaku.)

Plasdah@looeeyeah: 首尾呼应，好湿好湿！(I like how the first line and the last line are the same!)

LewsThein177: 意大利最不浪漫的分手。(Least dramatic Italian break-up.)